Monthly Archives: June 2013

“There’s Nothing Sexy About Trying!”

“There’s nothing sexy about trying!” announced one of my patients who feels ready to have a child.

Last year, at age 41, she opted to freeze her eggs—twice. After obtaining this “insurance,” she now finds herself in a relationship with an available man who wants to start a family!

“He offered to go in for testing because his dad had low sperm and he’s all freaked out that might happen to him!”

“Really?!” I replied, “They did sperm analysis 40 years ago???”

After enjoying a good laugh at the improbability of this, I watched as she withdrew inside her mind and became deep in thought. She started analyzing the number of times they would get to “try” in the coming week. I could see her getting stressed.

Then I interrupted. I reminded her that I had witnessed her make a higher than average number of eggs…two times! And noted that I had also seen her all made up for a night out, exuding sensuality and confidence. I reassured her that she didn’t need to overthink this situation and lose her feminine power.

She relaxed and smiled, which softened her face. As I inserted needles to support follicular development and improve ovarian function, I explained that women who embrace their feminine power can be quite creative. This ability to “create” often overflows into conceiving a child.

I frequently encourage patients to experiment with different ways of expressing their femininity and being creative. For instance, they may:

  • Wear colorful dresses/skirts, instead of constricting clothing in all black, white, and grey.
  • Use an engaging color scheme to redecorate at home
  • Write, draw, or make a collage
  • Cook an amazing meal
  • Speak and move with intention, allowing the pace to slow and soften
  • Take up belly dancing or another form of sensual dance
  • Meditate

All of these endeavors can help to direct the energy toward creation.

From an intuitive, open space, it is easier to let go of the judgment, worry, and shame that can cloud your mind, and instead trust in your own creative process.


Free Floating in Uncertainty

Clouds floating above ocean

Photo credit: Joanna Siebert

Uncertainty. Everyone’s feeling it. Everyone is fearing it. Everyone wants to know what’s going to happen next, how things are going to work out, when life will change in a way that brings more peace…more calm…a more “settled” feeling.

So much unknown is creating anxiety.

Will I attract a mate? When will I attract a mate? What if my eggs are bad? What if this fertility cycle doesn’t work, or what if it works too well and we conceive multiples? When will I have financial freedom? When will I break free of chronic pain? The undercurrent of potential catastrophe looms and threatens to destroy us all!

I’ve never treated more unrest, or seen as much physical discomfort in the form of palpitations, teeth clenching, headaches, stomachaches, and insomnia as I have over the past two years. No one seems to like free floating, not knowing what their fate will be. Everyone complains of being overwhelmed and in need of answers or guarantees, which may or may not have the power to calm worried minds.

The feeling of uncertainty can create a splintered state of being in which we are convinced that we have absolutely no control over our lives. It all stems from a lack of faith—faith that we are exactly where we are meant to be…faith that life is going to unfold in a way that makes us happier than we have ever been…

Through my work, I help so many people who are dealing with uncertainty; because of this, I remind myself to stay uber-calm. Regularly throughout the day, I recommit to holding an “as-grounded-as-possible” perspective. I speak calmly, as if my tone has the ability to talk directly to over-firing neurons. “We are all OK. Everything is OK already. Let’s take some deep breaths…” As I say this to my patients, I imagine a dark blue color, like a deep-sea blue I may have known while on vacation. Or I imagine a soft pale blue and tell myself it is safe and comforting somewhere up in the clouds.

Really, only one thing is certain now—that life does not offer any guarantees. I have come to rely on my ability to access the part of my consciousness that has the power to calm my own worries about uncertain outcomes, and this enables me to free float in uncertainty.

~ Danica